Thanks for sharing N!
March 31, 2009
Priceless!
March 25, 2009
Creative Puns for Educated Minds
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in
would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.
19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.
22. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.
23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
24. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Thanks Neil!
March 18, 2009
Spectacular!
This is an every four year event that has gone on for centuries. This clip is of the spectacular South American glacier, The Perito Moreno Glacier, which breaks up every four years.
There are photographers from the four corners of the earth that come to southern Argentina and literally camp out at the glacier site in order to get the actual breakup on film.
Thanks N!
March 17, 2009
March 16, 2009
Some Interesting Facts
The average life span of an umbrella is under two years.
There is a city called Rome in every continent.
A donkey will sink in quick sand, while a mule will not.
4,000 people are injured by tea pots every year.
The McDonald’s™ at Toronto’s ‘SkyDome’ is the only McDonald’s™ location that sells hot dogs.
One million $1 bills weighs 1 ton
In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions.
The average speed of Heinz™ ketchup leaving the bottle is 25 miles per year.
Little more than half of the people living in the U.S. would rather fold, than wad their toilet paper.
The only words in the English language to contain two “U’s” back to back are: vacuum, residuum, and continuum.
998 million people play Volleyball
You consume one tenth (.1) calories when you lick a stamp.
60 % of statistics are made up…
Dragon boat racing is the 8th most popular sport in the world!(What the funk is Dragon boat racing)
The first non-human to win an Oscar was Mickey Mouse.
Pi has been calculated to over 2,260,321,363 digits.
An ostrich egg would take four hours to hard boil.
Chickens can’t swallow while they are upside down.
There are more chickens in the world than people.
A novel with 50,000 words, non of which contained the letter ‘E’ waswritten by Ernest Wright.
There are only 18 countries richer than Bill Gates
The only word in the English language to contain three back to back double letter combinations is; Bookkeeper.
The surface speed record on the moon is 10.56 miles per hour.It was set in a lunar rover.
Gibraltar is the only place in Europe were you can find wild monkeys.
Every year, the moon moves 1/2 an inch further from the earth.
In 1977, George Willig was fined $1.10 for climbing the World Trade Center building.
If you yelled for 8 years ,7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough energy to heat a cup of coffee.
Banging your head off a wall uses 150 calories an hour!(ouch)
In downtown Lima, Peru, there is a large brass statue dedicated to Winnie-the-Pooh.
In space you cannot cry because there is no gravity to make the tears flow
In the Scottish Hebrides, an island is defined as being an islandonly if it is big enough to sustain 1 sheep
There are more plastic lawn flamingos in the US than real ones.
A typist fingers travel over 12 and a half miles in an average day.
The world’s most common non-contagious disease is tooth-decay
In 50 million years, it is likely that Mars will have a ring around it.
The short phrases of organ music played at a baseball game is called a tucket.
Dungarees is another word for Denim
A deltiologist is someone who collects postcards
People descended from the Scottish clan of Kerr are more likely to be left handed than any other ancestrial group.
The sortest war ever recorded lasted only 38 minutes. (Britain vs. Zanzibar in 1896)
Despite a population of over a billion, China has only about 200 family names
If you told someone that they were one in a million, you’d be saying there were 1,800 of them in China
In 1892, Italy raised the minimum age for marriage for girls to 12
New York City has 570 miles of shoreline
Olympus Mons is the largest volcano in our solar system
“Q” is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any of the United States.
The Boston University Bridge is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane
Two objects have struck the earth with enough force to destroy a whole city. Each object, one in 1908 and again in 1947, struck regions of Siberia. Not one human being was hurt either time.
Up to three thousand species of trees have been cataloged in square mile of the Amazon jungle.
We are in the middle of an ice age. Ice ages include both cold and warm periods; at the moment we are experiencing a relatively warm span of time known as an interglacial period. Geologists believe that the warmest part of this period occurred from 1890 through 1945 and that since 1945 things have slowly begun freezing up again.
A jogger’s heel strikes the ground 1,500 times per mile.
A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years.
Thanks JN!
March 9, 2009
You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When…
*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
*You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked
*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
*You sleep with your eyes open
*You have to watch videos in fast-forward
*You lick your coffee pot clean
*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
*You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
*You can jump-start your car without cables
*Your only sources of nutrition comes from “Sweet & Low”
*You don’t sweat, you percolate
*You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug
*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee
*You’ve worn the finish off your coffee table
*The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you
*Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house
*You’re so wired you pick up FM radio
*Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans”
*Instant coffee takes too long
*You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can
*You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar”
*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position
*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup
Thanks Janette!
March 3, 2009
Remembering When
Everyone’s got the candy of their generation, their neighborhood, and their tastes. What sugary delights sent young minds to greats heights when you were a kid? Well, let’s share. Here are some highlights from fourth grade:
9. Lotsa Fizz. Also known by its more convenient nickname ‘Fizz’, these candies masqueraded as a regular ol’ hard candy, the kind you might find in a doctor’s office or a crystal dish in your grandma’s front foyer. Other than the snake-like packaging, linking individually-wrapped pieces together, there appeared to be nothing special about them. However, once you crunched into them, they released a tingly, carbonated bubble-liquid that sizzled and frothed on the tongue. A real advancement in the candy surprise effect. 
8. Massive, fist-sized Jawbreakers aka Dinosour Eggs. The big question here was who could fit these in all the way? Occasionally, a local big mouth would manage to squeeze it up in there, and then proceed to nearly suffocate while trying to simultaneously breathe and speed-suck the jawbreaker down to a smaller size with drool flying everywhere. It wasn’t pretty. You were actually watching them OD right in front of you. Of course, others would simply leave the giant jawbreaker on their night table and have a few licks before bedtime, spending a year or so patiently turning the smooth sphere it into a faded, rubbed-out rainbow of dried spit and sugar. Whatever you think about these things, they definitely came out on top of the Total Candy Minutes Per Dollar ranking.
7. Pez. Was it just me, or did Pez have a kind of weird taste? Don’t get me wrong — the dispenser alone was enough for some great memories, despite some questionable versions over the years.
6. Tear Jerkers aka Sour Balls. At the time, Tear Jerkers were a futuristic advancement in Artificial Souring Technology. They caused a massive sugar high epidemic at my grade school, with kids running over to the variety store at lunch to grab a new bag, daring each other to eat two or three at a time. The gum that remained after the sour powder was gone was always a wet, syrupy disappointment, and usually ended up in the trash to make more room in your mouth. But that sour powder packed a punch and it often left the insides of your cheeks all inflammed and torn up for the rest of the week. And of course, there was always the big question: who has the guts to eat the leftover patch of sour powder in the corner of the bag?
5. Fun Dip aka Lik-M-Aid. Fun Dip was an entirely new way to eat your candy: Lick an edible candy stick and then use your own spit as glue to collect all the sugar-powder below. Well, it was a great long-lasting treat, as long as your stick didn’t come broken when you bought it. If that happened, you had to dive in with your wet finger instead. But you had to be careful, because it was that mark of the stained, purple finger that gave away why you weren’t hungry at dinner time. A lot of people would finish off by eating the actual stick itself for good measure which is sort of like eating your fork after finishing your pie.
4. Hot and Cold Nerds. Nerds was always a decent backup selection — it filled up the candy bag but was rarely the first pick. Sure, that little box of tiny, hard, asteroid-shaped candy offered two flavors in one box, but there was nothing too special about picking up Watermelon and Grape or Strawberry and Lemon. That is, until Nerds came out with the temperature-themed Hot and Cold Nerds box in the late 80s. Sure, maybe it was just bright, red cinnamon and bright, blue wintergreen, but it sure was fun alternatingly burning and freezing sensations in your mouth. Of course, there were always two kinds of Nerds kids — the slow, tantric, shake-it-in-your-hands-and-savor-it kids, and the minute men who instead preferred the all-in-one-go, head-tilt, box-shake manouver.
3. Bizarre Forms of Gum. Remember the glory days where gum came in so many different forms? There was baseball card gum, shattering and cutting the inside of your mouth like glass when you bit into it. There was Big League Chew, the shredded chewing tobacco gum. And of course there were Bubble Jugs, Bubble Tape, and even Bubble Gum Squeeze Tubes, which you pushed into your mouth like toothpaste, though with the exact opposite effect.
2. Pixy Stix. I always admired the straight-shooting style of Pixy Stix. Unlike the other candies, they didn’t dress up and pretend to be anything besides sugar. They were the real deal, straight up, just sugar in a straw. You want something gummy, sticky, sour, or chewy? Try the other guys. Now, if you want plain sugar, you’ve come to the right place. Available in regular size and occasionaly a Super Jumbo Straw version. Just be careful you don’t get dry-throat and gag on it when your brother pours a strawful down your throat.
1. Popeye Cigarettes. These ones were the real deal, before they took off the red tip at the end and rebranded them as ‘Popeye’s Candy Sticks.’ Yes, after a dark, moody stint with the patch, Popeye managed to finally kick the habit. But good thing, or he probably wouldn’t be with us today.
Yes, finding and chowing down on some of the candies you grew up with is like sucking on sugary memories. Because how did it feel walking out of your local corner store with a wide smile pasted across your face, an empty wallet, and an armful full of candy?
I think we all know the answer to that.
AWESOME!
Thanks Walter!